StarBound
by smash619
Summary: The Chosen Four? What! I was there too you know, I mean, how could they have forgotten about me! It's not because I'm a Starman, right? Ah well, Hey you, yeah you. Click on that title, and hear the real story of the chosen FIVE!
1. Chapter 1

StarBound

"Hey you. Yes, you. The reader. You may not know me well, I'm Model No. 3148175, also known as Paul. I'm a Starman, but not just any Starman... Yeah I know, Paul is a dumb name. Anyway I saved the world from an evil tyrant called Giygas, with the help of four kids... Not that I needed them or anything, they were more like dead weight, I could've beaten that sucka myself... Wait, what do you mean I never saved the universe? Of course I bloody did! They made a damn game about it! I was part of the chosen five... THE CHOSEN FOUR?! Okay, bullshit. That's bullshit, obviously they're not telling the story right. So I'm going to tell it to you. FOR YOU! That's right, reader! I'm going to-

Wait! Don't walk away... I'll... I'll...-

I'll hook Jeff and Paula up if you stay!

Hehe. I knew that'd bring 'em back.

Anyway, I'll come clean. I wasn't with Ness from the very beginning, so just let me fast forward to when I was awakened... It's gonna blow your mind…"

…

I can't move, I can't see, I can't feel... What's going on? I asked to myself, I had no idea what was happening, I was floating in a pit of eternal darkness. But then I realized... I was deactivated.

"Damn." I said to myself. How was I going to reactivate myself without external assistance? I tried shuffling around in my internal circuits… No use, I was just going to have to wait until something or someone reactivated me. Hmm, maybe I'll sing a human song to pass the time. I had many stored in my library that I didn't tell the others back home on the planet Chromanium. I shuffled through my library, looking through them all I selected a song. The title seemed straightforward, so I loaded it up and waited for it to play.

"Ten green bottles, sitting on the wall..."

Oh yeah, that's the stuff...

"Ten green bottles, sitting on the wall, and if one green bottle should accidentally fall-"

I did a quick calculation through my head, 10 – 1 = 9, I hope I'm right...

"They'll be 9 green bottles, sitting on the wall."

YES! I damn well nailed that one, too pro for my own good. But as I was too busy praising myself I felt energy running through my circuits... YES! I was online again! As a bright light enveloped before me, I squinted. Due to there being no light and all I had to get used to the penetrating rays all of a sudden. I could just about see a pink blob with yellow... something. As my vision got clearer I could make out the pink blob to be a young human girl with blond hair.

"Girl, you turned me on?" I asked? She must've taken it in a different way than I had intended it to, because she then knocked me unconscious with some sort of weapon with a disgusted look on her face.

When I came to (again) I was lying on some sort of bed. It was quite soft on my metallic skin. I was going to stay here a while and just relax, but then a foreign object tapped me lightly on the head, I sat up and rubbed the area on where I was hit, and then turned to my left to see a boy sitting on the bed opposite to mine. He was maybe 2 or 3 metres from where I was. He was wearing a blue and yellow horizontal striped shirt, denim shorts and a yellow backpack with an unknown capacity... Well, unknown to me anyway. But his most distinguishable feature was the red cap with a blue visor that sat upon his head. He looked pissed to say the least. The object he was holding in his hand was a blunt object, seemingly made of wood. I presumed it was what he hit me with.

"What are you doing here?" He asked sternly.

"What?" I asked back, confused.

"I said, what are you doing here? And don't try to pull one over me, I've killed one of your kind before, and by god I'll do it again."

I sighed inwardly. "Junior..." I said to myself quietly enough so the boy wouldn't hear.

"I can't hear you." The boy said, sounding even more serious than before.

I could sense some strong PSI coming from this boy, so I knew he wasn't playing around, I had to choose my next words carefully.

"I'm here on a mission, for my people."

"What mission?"

"I've come here to defeat... him."

"Who."

"The one that enslaved us all, the one that made us Starmen his puppets that he uses to fight for him."

"WHO?!" The boy shouted, how dare he? As much as I tried to keep calm I couldn't help slamming my tentacle fist into the counter-top, effectively snapping it in two."

"Giygas! There, I said it!" I screamed angrily at him, the boy recoiled slightly, but then resumed his previous position. Not looking any happier than before.

"You're fucking insane." He spat bitterly.

"Shouldn't a boy of your age be using more appropriate language? I responded with a hiss.

"Shouldn't a robot of your kind be more truthful under the threat of death?" He replied with the same hiss.

"Me? Lie? How DARE you! I am among the purest of all the Starmen in the damn universe!"

"How do I know that you're not bullshitting me and spying on Giygas!"

"Because he's already stolen everything from me!" I screamed back at him. The boy once again shivered, his expression lowering slightly.

"He's killed my parents, he's killed my wife..."

I then slumped down on the pillow, eyes up at the ceiling. I had noticed that my voice had gotten a lot calmer now.

"He killed my children, they were 5 and 8. And for what?!" My voice rose again. As I felt the anger surging through me I had to do something or else my PSI will go out of whack. I grabbed the two pieces of the tabletop counter that I had split in half earlier and threw them out the window in a fit of uncontrollable rage, hey, It was better than blowing the whole building up.

"Because they were "distracting me" from my work, how fucking dare he!" I then stormed up to the boy in the red cap and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, I lifted him up real close to my face.

"I lost everything. Then I escaped from my planet in a pod and landed here, on Earth. Now, I dare you, I double FUCKING dare you to call me a liar." I spoke that last sentence slowly to him to make sure he got the message.

"I know you're telling the truth. I see it now." He responded with some sadness in his voice.

I lowered him down back onto his bed gently, "You do?" I asked.

"I could see the anger in your eyes, the flame that is seeking for revenge burns deep inside of you."

I then looked around at the mysterious room I was in. "Where am I?" I asked.

"In the Twoson hotel. By the way, I'm Ness." The boy, now identified as Ness replied.

I then noticed the extensive damage I had caused to this mysterious "hotel" room. The name sounded sacred in a way, however. I wasn't used to most of Earth's customs then, so bear with me. Using my psychic powers, I brought the shattered tabletop back into the hotel room and repaired it, doing the same with the shattered glass of the window, I had to ask Ness a question.

"When you killed the Starman Junior you mentioned earlier. Did there happen to be a bee-like creature with you?" I know that what I was hoping for was near impossible, but it seemed to be that small chance that he would say-

"Buzz Buzz? Yep"

Oh happy days! I inwardly screamed to myself, the ledgendary boy has finally appeared after so long.

"I think you've already guessed that we're after him too, huh?" Ness chuckled slightly as he noticed my broad grin.

"You do not know how long I've been waiting for this moment, Ness." I laughed happily with tears of joy streaming down my face. "Ness, please let me join you." I begged while bowing down to him.

He grabbed me softly by the shoulders. "Please don't treat me like a God." He said quietly. I noticed how his expression changed to a frown. I know that the fate of the universe rests in my hands, but... It scares me. What if I fail, how many people will I be letting down? Heck! How many aliens and robots will I be letting down?"

I stood back up again and put my tentacle arms to my hips.

"You'll be letting none of them down."

Ness looked up at me. "Why?"

"Because I'm joining you, I'm among the most powerful Starmen there are, with me you can't possibly fail!" I boasted while flexing. I seemed to cheer him up a bit, as he was now smiling.

Just then, a familiar figure walked into the room, she froze when she saw me standing above Ness.

"Get away from him!" She shrieked as she shot a PSI Freeze toward me, good speed, good aim. But the power was pitiful, I merely just absorbed the energy into the body

"Thanks, I've been feeling a little low on PSI lately." I chuckled. She just stood there, mouth agape. I laughed heartily, Ness stood in for me.

"It's okay Paula, he's on our side." Ness calmly told her. Paula darted her eyes between me and Ness before letting off a hefty sigh. "If you say so Ness, by the way my dad is on the phone, he wants to speak to you." She said. As Ness exited the room I decided to follow behind him, I came across more of these "hotel" rooms as I walked down some stairs. "How peculiar," I thought to myself. "Does Ness really need all these rooms?" As I caught up to Ness and Paula Ness was already talking on an Earth telephonic device.

"No, Paula's dad. No... I promise would never dream of doing that to her, really." I wondered what on Earth (hehe) Ness was talking about. That was when he mentioned me.

"She'll be safe too, I promise. We've got a strong robot to protect her."

After Ness and Paula's father talked a bit more, he handed the receiver over to me.

"He wants to talk to you" Ness said worringly

"Greetings" I said into the end of the device.

"Listen." Came the voice I could only assume to be Paula's dad. "I don't care if you're a genderless robot or not, but if I ever hear that you're doing unpleasant things to her, I will kill you.

"Don't worry sir." I replied as kindly as I could. "I would never dream of taking advantage of your daughter." Ness' jaw dropped to the floor while Paula was panicking and shaking her head to me silently, what was she trying to say.

"What?" Came a speechless voice from the other end.

That's when I realized I didn't make it clear enough, so that's what Paula was trying to tell me! I smiled at her as I rephrased my sentence

"I'm sorry sir, I meant to say I would never take advantage of her _**SEXUALLY**_." I said into the phone as Paula started to tug at her face, as if trying to rip it off? I need to study human behaviour more...

"Although I must add sir, your daughter is quite pretty by human standards, I'm sure lots of men and boys would be thinking of engaging in intimate activities with her. I would advise talking to them instead of me or Ness."

I looked at Paula again, now she was tugging really hard at her pink dress. If she isn't careful she could rip it, didn't she just hear what I said?

Ness was just lying on the floor sleeping... With his eyes open...

"Is this some kind of joke?! I will get you sent to jail for even THINKING about touching my daughter!" The man now shouted angrily.

"Sir." I continued while still keeping calm. "If it's any compromise I should let you know that I have no hands, I have tentacles. And judging from Paula's stature, I'd barely think I'd get my arms ALL the way in."

"OKAY TALKIE TIME IS OVER!" Ness screeched as he suddenly jumped up, grabbed the receiver and slammed it back onto the actual telephone.

"Your father's a nice man." I smiled at Paula who was now curled up on the floor, shivering. She must be cold.

"We need to get out of Twoson before you get a sex offender record." Ness angrily whispered to me so that nobody else could hear. I picked up Paula who started crying for some reason after I touched her and Ness started running out of the hotel. I followed him up to where he stopped at a black minibus.

He walked up to the window, tapped on it lightly, and said,

"Guys, I think I'm ready to go to Threed now."

**Hey kids, It's time for Ask Paul. All you need to do is send me a letter in the reviews and I'll answer it. Unless it's a spoiler for my epic tale of epicness.**

**Here are some questions sent in by... Not me.**

**Dear Paul,**

**Why are you so devilish and handsome? Also are you single?**

**Signed,**

**Pa-**** Not me**

**Dear Not me,**

**I am so devilish and handsome because of my natural beauty, also I drink castor oil, which is good for the system. And yes, I am single ;)**

**Dear Paul,**

**How exactly did you get your name, also why are you so devilish and handsome?**

**Signed,**

**Pau-**** Not me**

**Dear Not Me,**

**That's for you to find out in the later chapters, sorry babe. :(**

**Also see the above post for the answer to Question 2. ;)**

**Dear Paul**

**Why is it that you seem unaware of the Earth's lingo and culture, yet you speak just like them in the intro and these letters? Also why are you so devilish and handsome?**

**Signed,**

**Not M-**** Paul**

**Dear Paul,**

**Wait, what-**

**Uhh, sorry folks we appear to be having technical difficulties... So I'll see you in the next chapter... Bye...**

**...**

**JEFF, SHUT THE DAMN CAMERA OF-**


	2. Chapter 2

StarBound

Chapter 2: Let's go Shopping

The window of the black minibus rolled down, there was a person in the front seat. He was wearing some sort of weird hat and he was wearing red sunglasses. his face brightened up when he saw Ness.

"Hey! Ness!" The man said, "You wanna go to Threed huh?" He asked. "Sorry man, but we gotta drop off at the Department store to pick up some supplies first. You don't mind, right?"

"Well..." Ness spoke nervously, "We're in a hurry and we need to go before Paula's da- er, I mean kidnappers come for her and take her back.

"Ah, I see, well you can hop in our van and camp in there while we get our stuff, some kidnappers wouldn't even think to look in our van for Paula."

"That would be excellent. Thanks."

Ness climbed into the mysterious black van and motioned for me to follow. I obeyed, still carrying Paula, I strode over to the van and bent down a little to allow my tall frame space to fit in. I looked around the van, it was definitely bigger on the inside than it seemed on the outside. There were also four more of these mysterious men. And they were all holding Earth instruments.

"Whoa, you're a big fella, aren't ya?" One of the men spoke to me.

"Why yes actually." I responded.

"That's a nice costume, you look like a robot." Another one said.

"Well that's because I-"

"Made the costume myself! ... Is what he meant to say!" Ness interrupted before dragging me into the seat next to him quite harshly!

"They cannot know that you're a robot from outer space!" Ness harshly whispered to me. Something in my processor clicked and I understood completely.

"This is my friend... Paul." Ness said nervously. "He makes great costumes.

"Paul?!" I whispered angrily to Ness. "What kind of pathetic Earth name is that?!"

"I heard that!" Paula said.

"Well, nice to meet you Paul." The band members said all at once. "We're the Runaway Five!"

Just like that, we took off. The van was actually quite comfortable to ride in.

I was mumbling to myself on the way to the Department Store. "Paul, what a stupid name, I wanted to be named something powerful... Like Steven, yeah... That sounds like a name someone with immense power would have. I was interrupted from my thoughts by a man with blond hair and a thin moustache screaming and shouting outside the window of the van, he was asking about some paedophile kidnapping his daughter, I would have to ask Ness and Paula who the strange man was later. We eventually pulled up to a building, a large one at that. The Runaway Five jumped out of the van and entered the store, one of them turned around and asked us if we needed anything. Just then, Ness turned toward me.

"Look, we can't exit the van, Paula's dad is hunting us down, but he doesn't know what you look like. So could you do us a favour and get us some supplies?" He asked. Then he slipped me a bunch of green pieces of paper into my hand without even letting me respond.

"That's $1000 right there, I need a new baseball bat." Ness handed me his weapon, so this was a baseball bat? Now I know what it looked like. "Paula needs a new frying pan." He handed me Paula's old frying pan. "And the rest is for you to spend on whatever you please... Just please be sensible."

"You can count on me!" I said as I jumped out of the van and ran into the building. It was quite a strange place, humans were exchanging their currency for products, we have a similar system on Chromanium, except that our currency is stored in our systems to prevent theft. I explored a little bit, gazing at all the products this store had to offer. There were things ranging from human food to blocks with letters on them to medicines, it was rather fascinating to say the least, I then came to a particular stand, one which had the word "sports" over it. It was there that I spotted a weapon similar to Ness' except that it was made out of what I presumed to aluminium. I asked the lady at the counter how much that metallic blunt object was. She gave me a weird look before saying "$350" I counted out the appropriate amount of money I had to pay and gave it to her. After I received the weapon I asked the woman where to find a "Frying Pan."

"Up the escalator on the second floor." She responded, I thanked her and walked over to what she dubbed "an escalator." It was, very odd. It was basically a set of stairs that were moving upwards, the flow of them was... fascinating. The movement was just so hypnotising, live a wave gently making its way out to sea, the cycle never seemed to end, more and more stairs just kept forming out of the ground out of nowhere. As if there was some malevolent force at work trying to-

"Hey pal hurry up! I got things to do ya know!" An angry voice shouted behind me.

I was suddenly snapped out of my trance and noticed a line of impatient people behind me that were waiting for me to "Get on the damn escalator." To quote one of them.

"My apologies." I said as I stepped onto one of the many rising platforms. I ascended up onto the second floor.

"For a species with quite a low average IQ compared to the rest of the universe, they sure can make a lot of fascinating and innovative things." I thought to myself as I finally stepped off of the escalator. I looked at the different stalls until I found one where a weapon similar to Paula's. I walked over to the "Kitchen Essentials" stall and asked for the circular metallic device with a wooden handle.

"The Frying Pan?" The man asked back.

"Yes of course I'm talking about that, didn't I make it clear enough?" I asked. The man rolled his eyes and handed me the frying pan while I handed him $450. So I had $200 left over, I need to spend this money wisely, whatever I choose to spend this money must be beneficial to the team in every way, shape and form, that's when that certain object caught my eye. It came in many different colours, I had no idea what they did, so I went over to the person in charge of the stall and asked him what they did.

"Those?" He asked. I nodded to give him confirmation. "Well, in the short term, they protect against many nasty and even deadly diseases. They also prevent unwanted happenings if you know what I mean..."

"Excellent." I smiled, "How much do they cost?"

"$5 each"

"I'll take 30!"

"I'm back!" I shouted out to Ness and Paula as I climbed back into the Runaway Five's van with a bag full of the items I purchased. I handed Ness his bat and Paula her Frying Pan. They smiled happily at me.

"Wow, I'm actually impressed. I didn't think you could do it Paul. Well done." Ness said

I cursed inwardly at the mention of my "name", but I held it down.

"Wait... What did you spend your share on?"

I smiled and held out the bag full of the items I brought.

When their eyes saw what I was carrying, their faces drained of colour and the look on Ness' face turned to pure horror.

"Condoms?! How the hell did you manage to spend **$200 **on condoms?!" He practically screamed while pulling his hat over his face in what seemed to be embarrassment.

"$150 actually." I replied. "I spent the other $50 on this cool teddy bear. I held up the aforementioned item and squeezed it, as I did a faint "I love you" could be heard from it. "It talks!" I giggled. Ness did not look any more impressed

"First you make Paula's dad think you are a sexual predator, and now this? You know, it's almost ironic how the two events fit together." He snarled through clenched teeth.

"What are you talking about? The nice man at the counter told me that they protect against diseases, deadly ones at that." As I said that I grabbed one of the multi-coloured wrappers and slapped it on my chest. "See, it works like a franklin badge, like the one you're wearing!" I argued back.

"You idiot, it doesn't work like that! It doesn't protect against the common cold or tetanus or anything like that!" He shouted

"Well if you're so smart just tell me how the hell they work then!" I shouted back. "You act like I know everything, I'm not from this fucking planet! How the hell should I know how all this shit works?! As least I'm trying for fuck's sake!" I fumed before regaining control of myself, I didn't want the same episode to happen in the hotel room right now. Ness seemed to finally receive the point I was trying to get across, he leaned back and rubbed his face with both his hands before looking back at me.

"I suppose you're right... I'm sorry." He muttered.

Paula, who was silent this whole time and was as red as a beet, finally spoke up.

"Listen, you two." She said with some anger in her voice. "If we're going to be a stable team on a massive mission, we're going to have to smarten up. You!" She said while pointing a finger at me, "You're going to get streetwise and learn what the Earth has to offer." I gulped while Ness snickered. "And you!" He retracted her finger from me and directed it toward Ness. "You are going to teach him!" Ness' snicker turned to a frown, a deep one at that. "Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes Paula..." Me and Ness said in unison.

"Good. Now hide those... things before those five finish their shopping and get back here."

I flung open a hatch on my midsection and flung my shopping, save for the teddy bear into there and slammed it shut. Just as I did this the group of five re-entered the van.

"Okay, is everyone ready to go to Threed?"

Everyone chanted "Yeah!" And so the bus took off toward our destination, with the group in the front and us at the back. Along the ride Paula was eyeing my teddy bear nervously.

"Paula? Is something wrong. Your eyes are shifting toward me and to be honest it's bothering me. Is something wrong?"

"Your teddy bear..." She stuttered. "Is it okay if I hug it?" I handed her the fluffy brown bear.

"Of course! I said smiling. I handed her the bear and she hugged it real tight. My heart froze when I heard the faint words "I love you." Come from the teddy bear. Angrily, I snatched the fluffy bastard from Paula and screamed at it. "You love her more than me?! You bitch!" I threw the bear out of a window and disintegrated it with a PSI Fire. Ness and Paula looked at me horrified beyond words. "Where I come from, cheating is a crime punishable by death, my species are very noble creatures." I explained, Ness shook off his expression before looking out the window. He then suddenly smiled,

"Hey guys! Look out for a factory up ahead. My dad works there!" He said. Me and Paula joined Ness at the window, looking out for the upcoming factory.

**Meanwhile...**

Two builders were standing atop a massive factory.

"Hey Bill." One of the builders said, "Did you finish fixing up that letter?"

"Of course I did Joey, how stupid do you think I am?"

Joey walked up to the giant letters in front of him, when put together, these letters spelt "Shirt Factory." The letters were twice as big as an average sized male and each one of them were screwed on tightly to a support beam, or so they thought. Anyway, these letters were on the front of the factory, broadcasting its name to all that happened to pass by.

Joey inspected the letters one by one, until he came up to the letter "r" in shirt.

"You sure you did the "r" right? It looks a little wonky."

Bill gave a frustrated sigh and strode over to his cautious friend. He then rose his fist and gave a solid knock to the letter that his friend was so worried about.

"You see?" Bill sighed. "I told you, the letter is completely, perfectly sta-"

Just then, a loud creaking sound interrupted Bill, and then suddenly, the letter broke free from its support and fell to the ground, where it shattered on impact.

"We're dead." Joey said.

**Meanwhile…**

"There it is! My dad's workplace!" Ness excitedly squealed, but then his and Paula's faces dropped when they saw the sign.

"Shit Factory." It said.

"Wow!" I exclaimed. "I never knew your father worked in the manure business, thanks to him, millions of crops are grown around the earth. Your father is a respectable man." I then patted Ness on the shoulder, then he fainted. Along with Paula.

"They must be tired." I thought. "Best leave them there."

And so I did, for the rest of the journey to Threed.

"**Hey kids, it's time for Ask Paul!"**

"**Actually, Paul... We got no letters..."**

"**What?!"**

"**Yeah, looks like your fanbase is not as big as you expected, huh?"**

"**Shut up Jeff, before I knock your teeth out."**

"**You know, you've been such an egotistical jerk ever since I-"**

"**SPOILER ALERT Goddamnit."**

"**..."**

"**They're just shy Jeff, you obviously don't know how to work an audience."**

"**Yeah, right."**

"**Anyway, come on guys, don't be afraid to ask me anything, be it about my personal life, I even know some secrets about these guys that you don't, wink wink."**

"**Wait- What?"**

"**Bye now!"**

"**Hey... HEY-"**

***Transmission Terminated***


End file.
